Getting Past “No”

A note from Gene...

I grew up with a particularly strict father. “No” meant “no” – at least most of the time. On occasion, I pulled out my “little girl has her big father wrapped around her little finger” routine. In these rare but important instances, I timed my approach carefully – waiting for the right mood and moment. Then, when my timing was just right, I gave him a big hug and, in my sweetest most irresistible voice, explained how much it (the new dress, my own phone, staying out late) meant to me and why he needed to be a bit more flexible. Frequently, using this strategy, I got my way. Unfortunately, this particular technique doesn’t transfer well to the corporate arena – but there is one that does. If you want to get your employees or coworkers to shift from no to yes, read on. There is a simple method and it’s the topic of this month’s column.

Getting Past “No”

"Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it – go through it - or work around it." ~ Michael Jordan

In today’s demanding work environment, the word “no” is heard all too often. No, you cannot fill that open position. No, you cannot attend that conference. No, you cannot get a raise. These are just a few of the many objections my clients run into on a regular basis. You don’t have to be a salesperson to know that the sale begins when the customer says no. In fact, there is a tried and true technique that softens resistance and frequently overcomes objections. Here’s how it works: Imagine you’ve asked a reluctant coworker to participate in a project you’re leading, and the coworker says, “I’m really sorry, but I just don’t have the time right now.” Looking at him, you can almost see the plugs in his ears. His resistance is high. To collapse this wall of resistance and remove the plug from his ears, you would simply say, “I can really appreciate how you feel about this. In fact, if I was dealing with all you’ve got on your plate, I’d probably be saying the same thing.” Up until this point, he couldn’t hear you. Now he can. Following the two “disarming” sentences stated above, you can begin with your “however” counterpoint. Be sure to focus on what’s in it for him and how you can help him to make room on his already overflowing plate. In this fictitious example, that may sound something like, “However, I can guarantee you exposure to some of our biggest clients and I’d be happy to speak with your boss to help remove something less significant from your plate.” That’s all there is to it, except for one thing. If it’s at all possible, wait for the right moment in time to have the discussion. As was the case with my father, timing is everything.